.... I somehow managed to get through this particularly aggravating week. I'm still a bit sick, but I feel confident that by this time next week, I'll be 100% again. I'll spare the minute details of this week, suffice it to say it was filled by highs and lows. Mostly lows, though.

So, after a particularly productive morning, I'm thinking I may goof off a bit this afternoon. I'm going home for the weekend, with MW, to see my cat, and steal supplies from my parents. With all the associated excitement, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on doing any real work. Also, there's a general mood of goof-offness in the office today - no doubt due to the fact that some of the particularly upity co-workers are away.

To shift gears, I want to talk about about something completely unrelated.

A few posts ago, I wrote about how happy I was to be once again sharing a bed with Mr. Wonderful. Turns out, I was a bit premature. This week of co-bedding has been hell.

For him.

Unfortunately, I am a snorer, and a moaner. I don't know what I do more of, for obvious reasons, butI am currently in a state of infinite guilt about this. MW is a light sleeper, and I've been keeping him up all week. He'll wake me up when I make noise. Last night, after being woken up for the upteenth time, I could hear him grumbling, and grunting in frustration. I laid there, hoping to stay awake long enough that he would fall asleep first. I don't remember how long I managed to stay awake, but I doubt it was very long. It's a terrible feeling to know you are causing such frustration in someone you care for deeply, even if it's not in your control.

I hate to say it, but I'm looking forward to this weekend, where we will once again have our own beds. I loooooove the feeling of having him beside when I sleep, but I hate that neither one of us sleep well when we do.

I think the next time I have a doctor's appointment, I will bring it up to him. There is a sleep clinic in SJ, so maybe they can help? I've tried to find information on the 'net, but I haven't come up with much.

*Yawn*.

I've got a few new links over on the right, 'dere. I suggest checking 'em out, as they obviously have good taste in linking to or visiting my site. Housewyfe with Benefits is particularly interesting, though I sometimes imagine it's my mother writing that blog, and it sort of creeps me out.

Have I mentioned I recently heard my parents doing it for the first time? I guess I'm just a bit preoccupied about it. Oh, did I also mention that shortly after that incident, my father made the whacky-whacky motion with his hands? Ugh. What are they trying to do to me? Have they gotten over the whole sex educator thing? Do they think it gives them free reign now? Ack.

Just as my vagina was once again pulsating with newfound horniness, my body decides to revolt with buckets of snot and other related yuckiness.

The day started off quite lovely indeed, nevertheless I spent Saturday in a downward spiral - both physically and emotionally. I nearly had a seizure on MW over a bag of lettuce. By Sunday, the transition was complete. I walked around the house with my baggiest, most shapeless clothes, hair askew, no contacts, and a trail of soiled kleenex whereever I went. I had a fever, and absolutely no energy to do nothing. I spent the day sleeping, and feeling guilty that MW had to listen to my various bodily noises. I was not a fun person to be around, and I must have looked terrible. Nevertheless, it didn't stop him from groping me from time to time. Y'know, a little groping can do a lot for a girl's well-being. Take note.

I took yesterday off. I hated taking a sick day so early in the game, but there was no way I could manage. I managed to come in today, but I am nearly useless. I managed for forget about a staff meeting this morning, and some mystery meeting I was supposed to have at 9:30 that I knew nothing about. Oh hoorah. I've gotten angry phonecalls from hotel staff, and the only person that can help me figure anything out is away for a week. Jesus Christ.

You know, it's funny. In my last time, I had the same feeling of trepidation in anxiety. However, as time went on, things kept improving. This day was always better than the one before. In this job, though, it seems like things just keep getting worse.

I know, I know. I'm just sick and tired and want to complain. But, damnit, I want my vagina back.

Okay, everyone. Let's not panic. If everyone can just form an orderly line towards my vagina, I think everything will be okay.

Wow. That was scary. It wasn't until I was ass-up over my new couch that I realized "Oh right, this is FUN! My genitals enjoy stimulation! My brain is feeling pleasure! I am connecting with another human being on a non-superficial level!".

How could I forget that? I guess it was a mix of all the general craziness that has happened over the last month - living at home with MW, then having to move suddenly, then his grandmother passing away... were the perfect conditions for a sexual Sahara.

It unnerves me to think that after MW arrived, I was simply enjoying MW. I loved that he was with me again, being annoying and goofy and wonderful. The thought that he had a penis never crossed my mind. It was only after he pulled me off the couch (where I was settling in to watch ER) and well.... re-introduced me to Mr. Boom-Boom that everything started to come back to me.

It wasn't just a mental thing, though. Part way through coitus, when I was....well.... really starting to enjoy myself - it happened. No, not a queef. It was a leg cramp, fool. It was one helluva one, too. I'm still feeling it this morning. I managed to fight (fuck?) through the pain, but it was definitely distracting.

So, despite working with fairly conservative, non-offensive types, I will have to remember my vagina. As a matter of fact, I just got something to help do exactly that. Smart Balls! I think this will help achieve the Renaissance my vagina so clearly needs.

Not a dirty link, I promise.

Go here.

I never got the whole Ebay thing.

Then I saw this.

Nice, huh?

...are sounds I'll need to get used to.

Again, my move went well, due to the great friends I have. It's nice to know your friends get along with your parents better than you do. It helps diffuse some tension. It's also good to know that my window easy pops out, allowing easy moving-in off giant beds, and couches, and other crap I brought with me. Uhm, don't tell any thieves, though.

I don't feel on top of my game today. Things seem to be just beyond my grasp of comprehension today. I think I'm just a bit tired from staying up too late last night, some of it spent watching Intervention (have you seen it yet? If not, you should), and the rest was spent listening to the various footsteps and other noise falling around me. I had visions of more monsters, like the ones in my former SH house. I hope this new place doesn't have monsters.

... I find myself in this city, for which I used to have so much disdain.
... I begin to see the little things here that will make things livable: A very nice walking path to work, a cute Brazillian restaurant, the river, free cable, air conditioning, eye candy.
... I run into people I've met previously - People I never expected to meet again, but now play an important role in my current job.
... I find myself agreeing to leave Sexy at home for awhile, in Mr. Wonderful's care, in the hopes it will keep him sane.
... Mr. Wonderful's grandmother passed away yesterday.
... I find myself moving with only the aide of my parents this weekend, which will inevitably be more stress were there other help involved.
... I found a very pretty, flowing, sexy shirt yesterday, and it was on sale.
... an old friend of mine from university called. He lives in this city, and heard I was here, so we will meet for a drink before he moves away.
... I am adapting well to this new job.
... I do have time during the day to check emails and blog.
... I have managed to only buy one chocolate bar from the big box of them that are currently in my office.
... my Visa seems to have been approved when sending flowers to MW's family.
... I find myself rocking out to "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight" playing on the radio.
... "Thriller" came on the radio, just as I was about to press "Publish Post". Oh, wait. It's "Beat It". That first note always scares the crap out of me, though.

Today, an idea of how my day went:

7:45am: Wake up, wonder where I am. Realize I am in a stranger's basement, and mentally go over the checklist of what I need to do before I go to work.

7:50am: Stumble into the bathroom. Put in contacts, brush teeth, try to manage hair into something presentable, hit mirror with ass on the way out.

8:10am: Finish dressing, putting on makeup. Pack, again, for the 3rd time this week. Drag luggage upstairs, hitting every possible piece of furning on the way out the door.

8:30am: Load car with luggage, and head off to work. Vicks is kind enough to stop for coffee. Mental note to name first born after her.

8:55am: Arrive at work. Nurse coffee for a little while and prepare for meeting. Check emails and phone messages. Return emails/phone calls.

9:30am: Meeting regarding a project I'm working on. It has little to do with my piece of the project, but at this point, I'd like to know what is happening anyway. At one point, I almost lunged across the boardroom table to bite the jugular of one of the people that represented our partner in the project. She said that most people who worked in CACs were 'welfare receipients' and 'mostly untrained'. Having being one of these workers, I wanted to point out that I was, in fact, highly trained, and independently wealthy (well, relatively speaking). I was suddenly embarrassed that I told my work that I had worked there, thinking they would now see me as the person this arrogant bitch described. I always thought that the organization did not respect their workers, and this was proof. Bitch. Ugh. BITCH!

11:30am: Typed up notes for conference, worked on translations for a flyer, etc.

12:45pm: Ate a bisquit I bought this morning, and a handful of M&M's. Had more coffee.

1:00pm: Prepared agenda, minutes, and other materials for meeting at 2pm.

1:20pm: Met the president. We had met before, in another capacity. Very nice man, and he complemented on my smile and nice personality.

1:25pm: Was asked to attend the first 10 minutes of French class, as I was getting refreshments ready for meeting at 2pm.

2:00pm: French class. I was worried where I fit in with the levels of French in the office. Turns out, I'm not half bad, though, of course, that's relatively speaking. I was nervous at first, but now I'm sort of looking forward to it. Note to self: Need to buy French/English dictionary.

2:10pm: "Je suis désolé (sp?), mais je faux partir pour un réunion." I grab my files, 4 coffee mugs and take the president (who walks with crutches)downstairs to the boardroom.

2:20pm: Meet with other committee members. Keep forgetting things, and have to run up and down the stairs twice. Have to pee, but no time. Note to self: Less coffee.

2:30pm: Meeting begins regarding AGM. Much more productive than the meeting this morning, and much less frustrating. However, I now have a giant list of things to do. Damnit.

3:30pm: Meeting finished. Talk some more with President. Manage to bring everything upstairs to office in one load. Notice I've reached new heights in gracefulness.

3:45pm: Blog. Realize that the post is not very interesting, and does not really show the structured chaos of my day. Decide to change format of post from timeline to paragraphing.

So, there is an hour left, and there are a few things to do before I leave. Tonight I will be spending time with friends and/or family and/or Mr. Wonderful. I will also be staying in a hotel tonight, which is fun. I'm going to be able to watch Survivor and The Apprentice tonight, which I missed last week. I am so excited..

In other news, I was hosting my picture (under 'visuals', at right), and my 100 Things About Me, on webspace that I 'borrowed' from a previous job (the one where I was supposedly an ignorant, poor, barely contributing memeber of society). However, they have changed their server, so everything went *poof*. I kept telling myself that I should save the 100 things (which was actually 200 things), to a text file, but, stupid me, I never did. Now it's gone.

But will be reborn, I promise.

4:07pm: Back to work.

So, I have been able to sneak in some Internet time, in intervals of 10 to 15 minutes each. Hoorah! The most stressful part of my day was to change the greeting on my phone, in both French and English. It only took me two tries to get it right, so I feel proud of myself.

I did a quick tarot reading on line today, at the site I find most reliable (to a point, anyway). Here's what the cards said this time:

how you feel about yourself now (The World) You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arrival of your hearts desires. You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards of past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.

what you most want at this moment (The Moon)The cards suggest Jenn, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.

your fears (Justice)There could be agreements or legal affairs that concern you and you certainly don’t want to lose - you feel quite strongly that you are in the right. Stay calm and level headed and seek sound counsel if you need to.

what is going for you (The Chariot)Drive, drive, drive, that’s what’s going for you. You certainly aren’t a quitter that’s for sure. The appearance of The Chariot tells of conflicts ending in victory, so don’t give up, battle on and you will succeed. This is a time of movement and change. Expect a journey relating to work, and if you’ve had you’re eye on that car, it will soon be yours.

what is going against you (Temperance)Life will seem hectic and full of challenges and you will find it hard to have the right perspective on things. You may have a rival in love or at work, and if so, question whether that person or situation is really right for you. This is a time for being calm and patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.

outcome (The Empress)This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.


Words to live by? Nah. A little reassuring? Yeah.

Next week will be my first full week of work. I'm feeling highly unorganized, and completely out of the loop. I hope things will improve.

This week I will spend crashing a friend's friend's place. It's a little unsettling, but it will only be for a week. This weekend coming up, I'll be moving into my new place. I picked up some weird 70s era girly books over the weekend, so I think I can decorate the place nicely. If anyone has any ugly 70s furniture, I'd surely take if off your hands.

So, I'll probably be away for most of the week, blog-wise. I'll check in when I can, but I don't know what the office policy is yet on wasting hours on the Internet.

I don't think I've been as emotional as I've been the past few days. Since Monday, if I haven't been crying, I've been walking around with a hard lump not in my throat, but just to the right of my heart... I guess it's my esophagus.

I found a place. A Leisure Suit Larry-era style bachelor pad, which appeals to my sense of not having to clean up after myself. Ha. It's a basement apartment, in a house broken up into a few units. It's sort of old and dark, but it's cheap (the same as what I was paying in SH, and I don't have to pay for cable). It's available almost immediately (will be moving in the 16th), and I'm only locked in until August, when I will most likely find some place a little nicer. It's also close to work. I may be able to walk to work, but I'll have to experiment with that.

The job seems great. One of the programs is a collaboration with CACs, which, duh, I'm totally knowledgeable on, so that's a plus. The girl I'll replace is so nice, I told her I didn't want to replace her. Ha.

Back to the lump. Remember that little, insecure, vulnerable little girl that lives in the dark recesses of my mind? I'm pretty sure she's the lump. (Henceforth: Little Girl=Lumpy). She has developed a rather large crush on this guy she knows, and she's really afraid something bad is going to happen. Lumpy made me have a terrible dream last night, except, in the midst of all the terror, I started walking down the street (in my dream), and I began floating, like a balloon, sometimes lightly landing on my feet, only to jump up again, and float. It was a nice feeling. I don't know what it means, but I've had this happen a few times in previous dreams.

This morning, I woke up from the dream, shaken, sad, and confused. I went upstairs, climbed into bed with the love of my life, and at least for a little while, everything was okay.

*sigh*

Well, turns out I have no intuition, and I did get the job.

I repeat: *sigh*

I have been a weeping fool all day, as they want me to start tomorrow. I called them and said "screw you, I'm starting Thursday". So that's that.

I'm frantically searching for a place.

I don't know what's going to happen with MW, but all I know is that I don't want to lose him. We'll see, I guess.

*sigh*

I had an interivew in another city yesterday. The interview itself went well, but there were a few things that was unsettling.

1) They require a car, which wasn't on the original job posting.
2) I was the first one interviewed, which is hard, because it is easy to be forgotten.
3) About an hour before I was to leave, they called to ask if I could change my time.
4) They need someone to start MONDAY. I understand that things come up, unexpectedly, and you need to fill the position short notice, but:

It is a maternity leave and the woman is eight months pregnant. You knew this was coming.

Man, that's annoying. We never talked salary, but I think it would have to be in the $30k range for it to be feasible for me. Regardless, because they were so last minute, I have a hunch they already have someone already lined up, but had to go through the interviewing proceedure. Ah well. Back to job searching, I suppose.